22 Things I Learned by 21

When I turned 18, I composed a list of things I learned by then, with one extra for good luck. If you want to check out that list, you can click here.

Today I am 21! My innate self-reflective behavior and love for lists, as well as traditions, inspired my list of 22 things that I learned by 21 (again, one extra for good luck). I hope this list finds you in the darkness to bring you out of the light. Enjoy!

1. The passage of time is the only guarantee in life. Use this information to your advantage
2. In fact, you need to find a way to turn every situation and flaw into an advantage. Your flaws are not flaws, just lesser capabilities that can be transformed
3. It’s OK to leave people behind
4. Take your time with relationships and friendships. Most things that are rushed are not done well and people never show you their “crazy” at first
5. Don’t forget that time is still relative, and you can feel like you’ve known someone forever even after a week. Be open, but remain cautious
6. Everyone’s path and process are different. You’re not better or worse than anyone else, so stop comparing yourself
7. Grow. Grow. Grow. You cannot waste your time remaining idle, so experience life and spend your time expanding your mind because if you’re not moving forward, you’re moving backwards
8. Take the time to cry. Don’t hold back tears, think about how good you’ll feel just to have a moment to yourself to mourn
9. Your alone time is more important than having thousands of memories
10. You do not have to wear makeup every day to get anyone’s attention. Your personality gets your further with people than looks ever will
11. People are going to disappoint you, because you cannot control them. Mourn, then move on
12. You can be in complete control over yourself at all moments, but only if you decide to be. Addiction grows with a lack of self-control
13. A problem only stops being a problem when it is resolved. You cannot just ignore your problems because you believe in time that inter/outer conflict will become nonexistent
14. The world or whatever power you believe in will give you signs about what to expect in the future. Listen to these signals, because even if you’re someone who believes humans just want to find patterns, these indications of future trouble or opportunity are usually right. I could tell 1000 stories about this, but seriously just pay attention
15. There is no one in this world easier to be than yourself. You simply need to believe that people will like the real you
16. Do not let the cruelty and coldness of the world affect you. You are not white paint that is easily corrupted; you are a rock that endures anything that is thrown at you
17. Jealously and pride will run high among those who are heavily, often subconsciously insecure. Two deadly sins that can be avoided by knowing yourself
18. Understanding why you behave and react in any manner is important. So many people are passive and apathetic regarding their emotional intelligence, but you can be so successful when you are aware of yourself
19. Always ask for a fortune cookie. Yeah, these cliche quotes are printed on thousands of cookies, but that specific cookie found it’s way to you. There has got to be some purpose in that
20. Walk with a whole lot of faith. In yourself, in your God (or not), in other people, in systems. Remember, though, that being naive is different from being faithful. When you at least have faith in yourself, then anything is possible
21. Push your body and your mind further than you can go because you learn how strong you truly are. Don’t hurt yourself; challenge yourself. You’ll be surprised how you can feel so weak – physically or mentally – and still you survive.
22. As much as I wish it weren’t true… Revenge is not worth the time or the thought. Karma is real, whether she comes in fifty years or two months, she will find her way back to whoever hurt you without you needing to do anything. Take deep breaths and don’t act crazy.